Okay, it doesn't help that I am watching "One Born Every Minute" or the fact that I am super tired yet can't sleep, but I really feel like crying tonight. No, it isn't because Caleb is gone... I have done that before and I am fine with that. Yes, I know it is different this time around because I have Clara, but even if Caleb was here, I would still be with her all day and waking up with her at night. And at night is where my problem lies...
Clara wakes up in the middle of the night... still... and sometimes it is multiple times a night.
She used to do good (with only waking up once), and then she wasn't and woke up a lot. Then she only woke up once again. There were a few times in there where she slept eight hours straight! But, now I'm back to multiple times a night. Not getting a full night of sleep really wears on me... especially when I can't fall asleep right away to begin with. It makes me feel like I'm not doing a good job at being her mother because, dang it, she should be able to sleep through the night by now! I did. The worst part is that no one else can get up with her... even if Caleb was here: I have the milk.
I don't know what to do. If you have any tips, please share, and thank you for them. I'm sorry for this pity party I invited you to by posting the link.
Goodnight... hopefully!!
If you google sleep regression it might get you some answers as to WHY she goes through her sleep phases, but I know that it doesn't help with the fact that she's going through the sleep phases. :/ Grace is the same way. Sleeps like a champ for a while and then up multiple times a night. And as a fellow nursing mama I know how much it sucks that you are the only one with the magic elixir. Breastfeeding moms don't get enough credit!
ReplyDeleteThe hardest thing for me when Grace is going through her regression periods (which usually start because she's going through a big growth spurt and her brain can't shut off...kind of like when we have a big event the next day and can't sleep no matter how hard we try) is that I know nursing will put her to sleep, but it starts a BAD trend and prolongs the regression, because she gets used to me feeding her multiple times a night. Most babies don't need to eat every time they wake up, they just need to be soothed back to sleep. So lately I've been going into her room and without taking her out of her crib I'll rub her back and try to get her to go back to sleep without picking her up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. :) I'm just trying to find ways for her to self-soothe, since she won't take a pacifier. Sorry I'm not a lot of help. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!
Thanks for replying so quickly, Adrien!
ReplyDeleteYour comment teared me up... it is SO good to know that I am not alone. I know it is me that is not helping her get back to sleep because I give her what she wants. (Man, if this is what happens when she six months, I don't even want to know what will happen at 16!!) And, since Clara has never had a pacifier, there are days that I wonder if trying one would help her and that is her deal? (I didn't want to give her one because I don't want her to be addicted to it and only go to sleep with that.) But, it does bug me that she only has trouble sleeping at night, she sleeps like a champ when she naps... I'd rather no naps and a full night of sleep, though!!
You're a great mommy, Emily! Her sleep phases aren't a reflection on your parenting at all, she's just a growing baby! Harlee doesn't sleep through the night, only did that one time (and that sucks now because I KNOW what it's like to have a full night's sleep and it's never happened again...) but I just recently read that waking throughout the night is a) good for mom's milk supply because it keeps it stimulated throughout the night rather than giving the girls a break and therefore making them "think" they don't need to produce as much, and b) it's good for baby's immune system - the more she gets mom's milk the more her immune system develops from all those great antibodies she's getting from you. When I read those two things I felt a lot better about getting up with him. It still sucks, especially when you feel like a zombie in the middle of the night and can barely function during the day because of it, but while I'm up with him and think about how good it is for him and that my milk supply is that much more active because of it (and it's very important to me to continue breastfeeding!) it helps me get through it. She'll get there! She's just teaching you a big lesson in patience :). And Harlee does take a pacifier - he's hit or miss with it though. Not really addicted, but there are times just sticking it in his mouth pretty much knocks him out. Good luck girl!
ReplyDeleteyou're a great mommy, that's obvious! Landon slept through the night ONE TIME his first year of his life. He didn't start until about 15 months!!
ReplyDeleteLayla is the total opposite from it. 98% of the time she sleeps through the night, and I agree with Jami- that really messes up my milk supply. I've noticed I've lost a lot of my supply because I'm not waking up in the middle of the night to pump them, so sometimes I am going 9 hours without relief.
The pacifier works for us too, if she wakes up and I know she isn't ready to eat (i learned the hard way, she would eat for 2 minutes then would be out again) I will just give her the binky and she'll suck on it for a minute and be out again!
good luck & don't ever doubt yourself that you aren't a great mommy!!!
All I can say is that this too will pass. I know it is hard but you are doing a great job--you are a wonderful mommy. These ups and downs will occur but at least you are getting some nights of sleep. Remember, you didn't sleep through the night until you were about 8 months!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I asked a nurse about why you didn't sleep through the night, she suggested that you nap less during the day. I can't remember if that helped or not. I think it is just a matter of time. I also remember being up in the middle of the night with Rachel trying to rock her back to sleep thinking that I wouldn't be able to hold her like that when she was 21....and I was right! Hang in there, Em.